What is Ego...?

What is EGO...?

This enemy that we have inside us is not our self; it's not our personality. It's only a temptation, This is the seed of the problem ego. We confuse our personality with sin; we marry these two things, and we have a wrong impression of who we are.' Archimadrite Dionysios

The negative ego is that part of ourselves which operates solely out of selfishness, isolation, fear, and fragmentation, as well as embracing the entire gamut of lower impulses, tendencies and expressions. It is often the place from which the inner child is operating, without proper parenting. It basically functions from the level of the subconscious." Dr Joshua David Stone.

Do you have an EGO in yourself?

Well I think, from the observation on me, myself and I... Definitely I have it. It just a matter of whether it is a big or small. I always want to win should there is or are any confrontation. It's hard for me to say that I'm sorry. And sometime, it's hard also for me to forgive. Will always find a reason to blame others without accepting that it is actually my fault at the first place. Not being sensitive enuf to understand what people wants and expect from me and also to anticipate their feelings. And here I am again ... blaming this so called EGO for all the mistakes that I've done.

Ego in me perhaps....? Yaiksss.....!!!

Manipulated

ma·nip·u·late - məˈnɪpyəˌleɪt

–verb (used with object), -lat·ed, -lat·ing.
1. to manage or influence skillfully, esp. in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings.
Manipulate ehh...? People said that I kinda people who so called 'terer' how to manipulate others. Is it? Hmm... As far that I know, I only manipulate the situation, not the people. Thus, shud there is/are someone who felt that they are been manipulated by me... Sorry..!! Ekekeke...

Talking about manipulating people, there is 'someone' who has been manipulated last weekend. 'Someone' has been informed that there will be a meeting with one Datin regarding new project that involve with the company of mine. So I needed someone to be with me just to pacify this Datin should she going to be confused during the meeting. Hehehe... 'Someone' did pick me up at my place as promised the day before. On the way to the 'Datin's House', someone looked a bit panicked. 'Someone' keep on asking on who else shud be joining us. I just kept quiet.

Reached at one of the sites, suddenly 'someone' asked, "Why are we here? I thought we gonna meet Datin at 4?". I said, "Rileks arr... Actually the appointment is at 6. And somemore I had something to deal with mother nature here". 'Someone' silent. 'Someone's' face looks pale. Ekekekeke.... Reached at the car park and 'someone' a bit puzzled saw 3 of someone's staff there. 'Someone' wondered, "why they all are here ehh?". I said, "Warrghhh... How come you don't know that they are working on Saturday and even Sunday?". Someone can only smile.

Once finish my business with mother nature, I said, "Ok lets go now. We're late oledi. So the 3 datins also follow us. Someone felt a bit puzzled, "Aik.. Can come arr? No problem with the Datin meh?" I said, "Nevermind arrr.. They are the Datin as well". Without 'someone' knowing that currently 'someone' is being manipulated, 'someone' just follow. On the way to the so called the Datin's house, 'someone' keep on blabbering as usual without knowing the actual destination.

Once arrived to the destination, then 'someone' realised that 'someone' has been cheated all the way. Muakakakakaka..... Mangs arr this 'someone'. Very easy to 'tipu'. Kekekeke.... 'Someone' face looks ok automatically. All the butterflies in 'someone' tummies suddenly gone when 'someone' knew that there is actually no Datin. Kakakaka.... 'Someone'.... Actually it is a surprise birthday dinner to you arranged by your staff. To plan with you knowing all about it... I think it's impossible knowing who you are. Once again... 'Someone'... You are SQUARE arr... Akakakakaka......

Even this little guy can do his devil's face. Muakakakaka.........

Interrogation session...

How do you feel if let say you've been asked with lots of question again and again and again when you actually know the answer but you don't want to answer coz you felt uncomfortable to answer it? Hehehe... It's happened to someone that tried to cover all the answers to all the questions that were thrown by the so called interviewer. Been informed that the interviewee (ada ka perkataan nie) is a kind of people that is very slumber and spontaneus. Tried to ask and test 'someone' with a simple question before. Well not bad at all. All the answers given to all the questions threw to 'someone' answered spontaneusly and with full of confident.

But as what people said, you will not always be on top, somehow and someday when the time comes, you surely going to be pushed by someone else and you will fall. Hehehe.... It's just a matter of how hard you will fall. Ekekeke... Today... 'Someone' had been asked bertubi tubi regarding someone's life and future love one. Don't know why, suddenly 'someone' sit down besides the parking lot and starting to act awkward. Kekekeke... Seems that 'someone' tried to change the topic for not being question anymore. But 'someone' failed since the interrogator was quick enuf to understand the MO (Modus Operandi).. Akakaka... Until at the end, seems like 'someone' can't stand anymore and even cannot faced the interrogator and frens.

According to 'someone's frens, this is the first time they see 'someone' speechless'. To be exact... 'Speeclessest'... Ekekekeke.... Sowey yerk 'someone'.. Ekekeke......

Malu arr tuh yerr......

Accident...

Accident..!! Well.. It's not the accident that you have in mind. The accident here is actually the same accident, but in a different mode. Ekekeke... Many types of accident actually. Accidentally met with someone, accidentally hurt someone, accidentally hit someone (bulih ker..?? haha) and accidentally in love... (hahaha... Cam tajuk lagu nie.. OST Shrek).

Sometimes, the thing that we least expected to happen... happened to us. If we thought that we never going to meet our old schoolmate, especially primary school, we meet them in a place where it is the last place we would think to bump into them. If we thought that we would never get caught doing illegal things, then we will be caught. If we thought that someone else wouldn't know when we talk bad or good (selalu nyer Bad arr) about him or her, somehow they will know about it. Hehehe... And especially when we speak about someone that we adore...... There you go.. Speaking of the devil.. Here he/she comes.. Ekekeke... Mau terkedu time tuh. Kan? Kan? Kan?

'Suratan atau kebetulan'... I did wrote about this long time ago. Post titled 'Suratan atau Kebetulan'. Ekekeke...




Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows (Shrek 2 OST)

So she said "What's the problem baby?
" What's the problem? I don't know
Well, maybe I'm in love
I think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it
How much longer will it take to cure this?
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it
If it's love
Makes me wanna turn around and face me
But I don't know nothing 'bout love
Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love
So I said "I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming"
All this love melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love
Well, baby, I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever ender
All this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love
These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no
Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love
Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once upon a time in love
We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love…
I'm In Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, Accidentally…
Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her Love!...
I'm in love!

Masih aku terasa....

Masih aku terasa...!! Tajuk lagu kumpulan Gersang zaman aku sekolah sekolah dulu. Man Bai pon dah tak nyanyi dah sekarang.. Masih aku terasa yerr...Cakap bab terasa nie, kadang2 tuh kita mmg mudah rasa terasa walaupon benda yg dikata pada kita tuh cuma perkara biasa. Tapi pasal mungkin masa tuh kita tengah emo ker atau level emo kita terlebih sikit dari biasa kot.. Itu yg buat kita terasa tu... Dalam bab terasa nie, kadang kadang tu, bukan setakat orang bercakap jer. Thru perbuatan orang pon kadang kita boleh terasa. Alahaiii...!!! Sensitipnya kita bila time datang mood cepat terasa nie kan?


Terasa ni kadang tuh ok gak.. Time terasa tuh lar baru kita nak pikir balik atau nak muhasabah balik diri kita samada kita ada buat silap ker tak dengan orang. Kalau tak... Kita selalu pikir apa yg kita buat tu betul jer tanpa pikir pasal hati ngan perasaan orang lain. Samada orang tuh terasa ker... tak ker... So bila kita dah terasa nie, at least kita tau arr, apa perasaan orang bila apa yg kita buat kat orang tuh kena balik kat kita... Kan? Kan? Kan?

Lagi satu, bab bab terasa ni pon kadang tuh tak ok gak. Macam kita nie terlalu paranoid arr plak. Orang tak der apa apa, kita pulak yg macam terlebih terasa. Dalam perkataan lain ... perasan. Hehehe... Pantang nampak cam orang gegelak jer, kita terasa cam orang tuh ngata kat kita. Padahal tak der kena mengena langsung. Bila kengkawan terdekat ngan kita kengkadang buat plan tak include kan kita pon, kengkadang kita terasa macam kita dipinggirkan. Entah entah dorang tengah plan nak buat something yg surprise untuk kita. Hmm... Macam macam arr...

Basically dalam bab-bab terasa nie, terpulang jugak pada individual. Samada nak take it positively or sebaliknya. Depends on people perception kot (apasal ayat nie selalu sangat disebut sejak kebelakangan nie ehh...). Anyway... Tak salah kadang kadang kalu kita nak terasa, tapi bak kata orang... Nak terasa tuh biar arr bertempat. Jangan sampai efek pada kerja ngan hubungan kita sesama kawan udahhhh......

Ishh... Dah terasa lak nie... Huk... huk... huk...

Are you in the hit list....??

Here I am again. Staying and waiting for the reds and the blues ECL game. Hmm.. Don't care who win the semi final, as long as Man U defeated Barca and go straight to the final. To you red fans... Gud luck on your game and eventhough you are playing in your own turf tonite, doesn't mean that the blues cannot take sometin' out of you infront of your nose. Hehehehe... Can't wait to watch Man U game tomorrow....

There is an important meeting this morning at 10 am. Basically the meeting called by the COO to announce about the bonus that company will pay on end of April should there be no problem on financial department to do their things. How much? Well.. Based on the ratings that have been made earlier. Indicative values... Arghhh...!! No need to mention in here I think. What I can say is, you shud be grateful on whatever you will get. That's why it's called bonus rite? Not a mandatory... Bonus... Lucky me if I can get the amount that I wished for...

Had a discussion with the COO and the PD regarding one of the solution that we've provided up north. Seems to be a problem. Proposed a work around on the matter. Will act on it soonest possible. Committed to complete the work around configuration by end of today. Still did not get any report from the ground whether the task that assigned earlier have been completed or not. Hmm... Another matter, someone from Central Site has been proposed to take care one of the solution supplied up north. Basically it is a request from North PM himself. Got no objection. Hehehe... So starts from now on, you will do a lot of travelling to up north my dear. Your wish already been granted to travel up north. Hahaha....

Internet Down.. Aiyorkkk

The internet is down... The internet is down... Mayday...!!! Mayday...!!! Mayday...!!! Received a call from various sites this morning reported that their internet line is down. It's even worst when the center of our IPVPN is also down. Erkk... Call TM and report the problem. Call the TM AE to push their technical to rectify the problem. Call... arrr... who to call some more arr...?? Haa....

All the bosses starting to make noise coz cannot download all the emails. Well at least we've already confirmed that it's ISP problem. Technical problem. Well thats what they informed us. Lucky that I have this so call 3G card. Ehehehe.. People who don't have the internet access looks crazy and don't know what they are doing. Fuhh.. Just imagine, how big does this technology called internet can give an impact to us.

Evening I have a chat with other PMs. Just have a nice coffee and teh tarik session at techno cafe (hahaha.. Managed to convince this PM not to go to Pasar Malam...Ekekeke). Suddenly someone came out with the old days story. The time we used to hang out at Jumpa. The Friday nite life at Jalan P. Ramlee. Ushaing all the aweks that lalu lalang on their way to the 'Beach'. Wallawey... Miss that time dowh.. Suddenly there's a silent ......... Then I saw a big grin on their faces. Hahahaha... Rerupa nyer semua terkenang .. Ekekeke... Again.. We will only miss the thing that sometimes we did not realize that we've already missed it. Kan?